Style Quiz!

Quick quiz for guys or for any guy(s) in your life.

1. How would others BEST describe your fingernails?

a) “(Name)’s fingernails stop abruptly at the edges of his fingertips”

b) “(Name)’s fingernails are a little long, and dirty, but ok”

c)”(Name)’s fingernails are the fingernails of a rescued POW”

Long fingernails? This is probably the only "honey" you're getting.

2. Which of the following activities BEST describes you?

a) I forage for honey and eat ticks off my friends’ asses/junk

b) I battle Magneto for the good of mutant- and man-kind

c) I sleep in dirt/coffins/hanging upside down for fear of sunlight and holy water

d) I love anime, Star Wars and WorldCraft. I basically love any hobby that allows me to accumulate a stench and gradually soil my draws

Answers a,b, and c are all acceptable. Congratulations!

Few can have long nails and get away with it.

However, if you’ve answered “d” then we need to talk. If you answered “c” in #1  but none of the options in #2 seem to fit, we need to talk.

As a kid, Pop-Pop told me that junkies had long fingernails to cut up their coke (granted, he told me this as he injected heroin between his toes–we don’t hang out too much now)*.  So, congratulations, you’ve got a junkie on your hands.

Of course, I’ve heard the other reason provided are for guitar players; they grow out their fingernail(s) so that they can play the guitar better.

Hey, Eric Clapton, buy a pick.

Few people are full-time musicians, so while you may crank out some mean tunes after hours, I got news for you: your 9-5 co-workers think you’re a cokehead, or a drag queen.

So you’re still a junkie in most people’s minds.

See how that works?

Tired of being on the outside? Clip the claws, Vlad.

Besides being routinely grossed out by the sight of it, I also can’t take any guy with long fingernails seriously because no matter what they say, in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “yeah, but you turn into a bat”.

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3 Comments

Filed under Style Quiz!

3 responses to “Style Quiz!

  1. Kristin

    Not to mention when they’re wiping their arse!! They’ve GOTTA get doo-doo under those talons (and probably sniff to check afterwards).

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