Tail of the Tape

“Rumors of VP Sex-tape Suddenly Hounds GOP VP Hopeful”–Washington Post (AP)

After revealing that Alaska is actually a state-sized Minuteman, positioned on the lookout for any sneaky border-crossing Russkies, and then unsuccessfully using her magical ‘Alaskan Christian priestess’ powers to re-animate Frankenstein for her second appearance on Katie Couric and Her Legs Show, Govenor Palin appears to be taking a page out of the Paris Hilton/Kim Kardashian book of winning/distracting people as she is forced to confront rumors of an alleged sex-tape. 

The leaked tape, identified on the internet under the innocuous title “Palin Spreads Democracy” has been on the fast-track of circulation, making the rounds on blogs, Facebook profiles, and YouTube.

Palin's fast life is quickly catching up with her

The tape in question depicts scenes of the Govenor in bed with FOX bulldog Bill O’Reilly, CNN darling Anderson Cooper and stately vapid ABC anchorman Charlie Gibson. A later scene involves another woman – bearing a striking resemblance to sometime anchorwoman Couric–and company taking turns urinating on what appears to be a resume’.

Surprisingly, its source has been tracked to the McCain-Palin website of all places.

When reached for comment at McCain-Palin.com a spokesperson replied with, “While Senator McCain and Governor Palin are saddened by the sudden rise of file-sharing on the internet, they’re happy that more Americans are getting to see another side of the Govenor. Ultimately, this video is an opportunity to confirm what we’ve stressed from Day One–the media has been screwing Govenor Palin left and right.”

The representative then urged people and the press to judge for themselves on www.myspace.com/palinspreads where for $.99 for the first minute and only $19.99 each additional minute, viewers can see the Govenor in action.

“We’re donating all the raised funds to the Economic Reform Bail-out–country first!”, assured the representative.

Poor quality won't detract people from following Palin's moves

Already totaling over 1.5 million views, many viewers are complaining of the “poor quality” and “obvious off-camera direction” that’s evident on the tape.

“She just didn’t seem ‘natural’,” offered one Arkansas man who wished to remain anonymous, “I will say this though–that girl is a freak.”

When asked about the some of the other issues dogging the candidate as well, namely her lack of experience in foreign affairs, a campaign spokesperson replied, “Oh, we’ve got that on tape too.”

(Associated Press)

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