You know what I love saying almost as much as “that’s what she said”?
But not just, ‘awkward’ like, “Man, this stuttering chick with a mustache and snaggle-teeth is really awkward to talk to”, but awkward (meaning you say it in a higher-pitched voice) like, “Remember that stuttering chick with the mustache? Yeah, well I banged her. And it turned out that she was actually your mom. I was like awkward. Total freak.“
So there you have it. Here’s some other awkward situations I’ve been in before, in no particular order:
1. ‘You’ve Got Mail’
(Friend): Hey just check your email on my computer
(The Kids…): You sure? Thanks, man
(Goes to computer and refreshes the screen, Goes to internet drop-down to find hotmail and sees extensive listing of porn sites. Nasty porn sites.)
(Friend): Everything cool? You get on ok?
(The Kids…): Uh, yeah, it’s all good. Thanks again.
(Friend): Great. Let’s go home. If I stay at this school a minute longer I’m going to scream. I’m sick of teaching.
2. ‘Ride or Die’
3. Recently, on ‘Friends’…
Talking with friends and someone’s girlfriend reveals that her nickname in college was ‘A-Train’ for awhile. News to all of us, including the boyfriend.
4. Night at the Movies
(The Kids…): Hey Mom, I’m really glad that we decided to have a night in to hang out together. With me being away in college, I don’t get to see you too much.
(The Kids…mom): Me too, sweatheart. And, I thought it’d be fun if we watched a movie!
(The Kids…): Sure Mom, whatver you want. What’d you get?
(The Kids…mom): Well, I don’t know much about movies, but I know you like thrillers, so I got this one. The video store person said it’s good.
(hands The Kids…a copy of Basic Instinct)