S-Men

When I was younger, I used to love talking through the back of a spinning fan. You ever do that? You talk through it and your voice ripples like water and comes out all warbly. It’s a pretty cool sound. I always sounded like a senile old robot. I’d say all sorts of fun things into the fan, like (phonetically recreated for your enjoyment):

Iiiii’ve been eaaatingggg out of my bed paaaaannn agaiiinnn

heerrppeeesss…. I have heeerrrpppeeeesss”

“Chiiina……this fan was made in Chiiinnaa”

and so on and so forth. I spent many a summer afternoon entertaining myself this way until my mom got home and unchained me from the radiator.

Lil' Kim tries Auto-tune for the first time

Lil' Kim tries Auto-tune for the first time

But now that same effect has wormed its way into the music world over the last few years, thanks to the (heavier) employment of the use of Auto-tune.

Not sure where you’ve heard it? Uh, like everywhere.

It’s what T-Pain uses to croon about being in love with your mom (“I’m in luv with a Stripper”)……what Britney uses to sing about her kids, crack and flashing her “Minnie Mouse” all over Hollywood…..and now Kanye West has thrown his tongue into the fan.

Professor Xavier prepares to race Professor Hawking

Professor Xavier prepares to race Professor Hawking

Kanye’s new album, 808 & Heartbreaks (which I love and think you should listen

Harder, faster, Auto-tuner

Kanye West: Harder, faster, Auto-tuner

to) is done entirely in Auto-tune, thus cementing that he too has joined Britney, T-Pain, Akon and Aqua to create a group that I like to call The S-Men. Similar to The X-Men, they’re a bunch of freaks noted for their weird, outcast standing.

hawking

"To me, my S-Men"

And while the X-Men are lead by a brainy cripple by the name of Charles Xavier (part of the convenience of being called the X-Men, get it?) I think the S-Men leader is also a brainy  cripple: Stephen Hawking.

I mean really, he’s got the voice.

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