Gangsta’s Paradise

Why the Greek gods were the original hip-hop stars:

  • Because Mt. Olympus is like being on a rap video set: lots of barely dressed people drinking and banging each other.
    On the set of "Big Pimpin'"
    On the set of “Big Pimpin'”

  • Because Zeus’ demands were like episodes of Diddy’s Making the Band. They even toy with people too–sending guys like Perseus on random ass assignments.

(Zeus): So Perseus, you want to prove you love Mt. Olympus?

(Perseus): Oh, most definitely, Almighty Zeus.

Medusa can make you hard just by looking at her


(Z-Bolty): Actually, don’t just take care of her. I want you to go there, cut her head off, put it in a sack and bring it back to me here at Mt. Olympus. Oh, and you need to be back in hour.

  • Because Medusa and Fergie look are both stone-cold snake-whores.
  • Because the Greek Gods can’t just have a horse, their horse has to have wings on it, son.
    Fergie’s a descendant of Medusa. You can see it in her face.
  • Because Hercules drinks Vitamin Water

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