So, like many of you, The Kids…has been on vacation for the last couple of weeks, and this has afforded some great time to get re-acquainted with the American excess that is the TV landscape. The mornings, afternoons and late nights watching the boob tube has afforded me the following relevations:
1. Tyra Banks has no business talking in front of a camera.
2. People will watch anything with the word “Dancing” in the title; as a result, I’ve submitted a pilot called, “America’s Best Dancing Coma Patients Revived with Heroin” (hosted by Howie Mandel).
3. MTV has now passed BET on the “culturally embarrassing/indefensible” scale. It has also surpassed Cinemax as “Channel Most Likely to Give You Syphillis Just By Watching It”.
4. Tyra Banks has no business talking in front of a camera. (worth mentioning twice)
But my favorite relevation has been the realm of the informercial, and specifically, it’s current Prince of Profit, “The Snuggie”.
Have you seen this shit? Amazing.
The Snuggie is (click link to see it in action) from what I can tell at least, a body-length fashion mistake.
Apparently, the Snuggie’s intention is to provide people the comfort of a favorite blanket, but without the messy business of reaching for an actual blanket. Plus, you can wear it outside, apparently.
It’s like a cloth telling the world “I have recently escaped a mental institution and should be tasered with reckless abandon”.
Here are the following people most likely to purchase a Snuggie:
1. retired Klan members
4. “sleepy” Power Rangers
5. Ruby from The Style Network
6. that dude in The Da Vinci Code
Also hilarious is the fact that someone’s charging $19.95 for what is essentially a human tarp. And people are buying this! Amazing!
I guess you can get all comfy while you watch my other two new show ideas: “CSI: Portland Oregon” and “Law&Order: Racial Profiling”.