Looking for a new job in this harsh economy? Well, check this out.
It’s an article about Australia’s job announcement that they’re offering what they’re deeming is the “best job in the world”: the “island caretaker” for the Australian state of Queensland.
The winning applicant would be paid about $105,000.00/year to swim, stroll and record your experiences on the island via blog, email and apparently flare guns.
Sounds great, doesn’t it? Yeah, well….in the past, Australia has only been known for the Crocodile Hunter, Crocodile Dundee and Kangaroo Jack.
Other issues with this gig:
- The fine print in the article mentions that you’d also be responsible for some other “minor tasks”, which for all I know might be Australian for “Aborigine love slave”. Further proof that the Australian “dingo” is really “mandingo”.
- did you know that Australia was originally founded as a penal colony? I have a feeling that you’re really serving as the new warden for their prison population. Do you know any Australians personally? I know I don’t, and I know that my only frame of reference for Australians are Russell “I’ll beat you with a phone and take your wife” Crowe and Mel “JEWS ARE MAGICAL ELVES THAT MUST BE DESTROYED” Gibson, meaning that you’d possibly be locked away on an island with a gladiator and Mad Max.
- FACT: you’re on an island in Australia, so you’re going to need to be armed and ready for danger. FACT: Australians defend themselves with a boomerang, which is about as dangerous as a NERF toy.
When I called the Tourism Office for further details, I was also told that the “Island Caretaker Survival Kit” included a six-pack of Foster’s beer, season 19 of the MTV’s Real World: Sydney on DVD, and the book, That’s Not a Knife, THIS Is a Knife: How to date an Aussie .
I also learned that men from Queensland are called “banana benders” which might be reason #4 to consider not quitting your day job.