The Burning Bush

If you watched/witnessed the change of power on Tuesday morning, you saw the torment that the day put our lil’ cowboy through.


After all, it’s not often that a black guy moves into a white guy’s house. It’s like reverse-gentrification–fitting for a city that’s done the same to brownies the last 15 years.


Cheney takes one last stroll out of the White House

Anyway, Bush was MIA for much of the initial proceedings. I learned that while the new POTUS is getting sworn in, the old one has the morning to get their shit out of the house.

But, in his haste, Dubya left behind a couple of things that the Obamas will add to the list of “Shit We’ve Got to Clean Up After 8 Years of Bush-shit”.

So, what did the Obamas find left behind?

Take a look:

  • “Bob Marley getting high” poster left on Oval Office wall


    No Woman, No Rice

  • In the Presidential Desk, several old, worn copies of “Perfect 10” in a folder labeled “Financial Crisis Plan”
  • a Snuggie
  • Garbage Pail Kids collection

In some of the other rooms, they also found items belonging to the other Bush Buddies, like:

  • the remains of Condoleeza’s human husk
  • Dick Cheney’s Mumra-like coffin
  • a jar of Powell’s “Amazing Skin-Lightening Cream”
  • Laura Bush’s batteries

Bush looked absolutely steamed to have to finally move out of the Big House on Tuesday.

I just imagine the last night he threw a big ol’ Texas-sized kegger in the White House, just straight wrecking the place, telling people, “Don’t worry about this joint; I’m not gettin’ the deposit back on this shit” and then puking on one of those “Teddy Roosevelt-Era” rugs or something.

Using the red phone to order Dominoes pizza.

Watching Condoleeza and Laura Bush make out in the Press Room (Cheney’s taping it).

Shining his nuts on the ball-buffer in the White House Bowling Alley.

And shaking an angry fist at Lincoln’s picture, sputtering, “this is all your fault, Nixon” and then passing out.


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