After smoking French men in the pool, America’s favorite mer-man, Michael Phelps, was caught in a photo smoking from a bong.
And naturally (heh), people immediately went into an outrage over it.
But why are people surprised? Michael Phelps lives in Baltimore. Have you been to Baltimore?
The Kids… Presents: “Shit, Reasons Why I’d Smoke Too If I Lived In Baltimore”:
- The Wire which continues to give white people a collective sigh of relief for the beauty of gentrification
- a place called Power Plant Live. What do you think that means?
- Ray Lewis prowling the streets. He’s like OJ on the other side of the ball.
- A museum dedicated to “blacks in wax”. You want to see some shit that makes you want to light one up? Try staring at Al Sharpton in wax.
- Those Ace of Cakes dudes whose entire job is to get lit and then make Madonna’s breasts out of cupcakes and jimmies.
Plus, I saw an interview once that said Michael Phelps’ regimen included drinking chocolate milk everyday. Who relaxes or trains with the use of chocolate milk? I’ll tell you who:
- The NESTLE-Quik Bunny
The good thing though, is with all his free time, Phelps can now hang out with some of his A-List celeb buddies he’s been meaning to catch-up with, like:
- Dave Chappelle and those guys from Half-Baked
- Govenor Blagojevich
- Harold, Kumar
- Ray Lewis er, maybe not
- RA-SHEED WAL-LACE
UPDATE: Phelps has been barred from swimming by the US Swim Team for 3 months. When reached for comment, Phelps replied, “Cookies” and dove into his tub. He’s now unconscious.
If only he’d used O’Dweeds!