So, thanks to our extensive neworking and hacking abilities, The Kids…already brought you the Twitter transcript from Angelina “I came from Atlantis” Jolie, and so we’re continuing our exclusive Twitter-ing by bringing you another installment.
A few weeks ago, Britain’s favoritest disease since the Black Death and Madonna, Amy Winehouse, was seen saving a woman’s life in St. Lucia after the woman nearly drowned in the ocean.
Then, not too long after that,Winehouse had her home broken into–most likely the woman whose life she saved was looking for some sort of antidote after receiving mouth-to-mouth from Amy Winehouse.
So anyway, with this flurry of activity around her life–she’s also recently been arrested for assaulting a fan in 2008–I thought it was prime-time (and fodder) to pull her Twitter transcripts and see what’s what with the strung-out songbird.
(please note that all pictures, picture commentary and text were provided by Ms. Winehouse)
7:44am: BLAAGGGGHHHH! BUGS ARE ON ME TITTIES BUGS ARE ON ME TITTIES SOME1 GET THE F*CKIN POLICE HERE, WOT
7:58am: so srry bout all that, luvs i was havn’ me a nightmares and wot and thoughts there were bugs on me nippers sorry bout that
8:14am: twping wit me ryght fut beucuz i’m sh0tin some eroin into me left foot i am so hi
8:18am: so you ‘eard bout this sot-cow that i nickered from the waters in lucia and wot, right? the one i gave the mouth bizness to right? turns out she ‘ s claimin i given the old bird the clap she is fat chanc thar i say sine i only got ‘rhea…adn the herpes and wot
8:37am: hey now wot, wot? fell a’sleep at teh f*ckin laptop peed myself
9:00am: srry dispeared luvs had to mop up pee wit me hubby’s face fer a bit,
9:02am banginajonasbrotherwhile im typin this isfun tkae that miley you bloody muppet-faced wank-yank
9:02:27(secs)am: lil jonas bro is a’ready all done he is cryin into his mouse ears poor thing
9:03am: WOTWOTWOTTHISAINTAJONASTHIS IS MILEY MUPPETFACECYRUS
9:05am: lookin’ like mc wants to pay so’s i keep me yapper tight about our lil’ bang-bang so shh me lovelys shh
10:00am: off to get a new tattoo…this one’s going on me cunny…’s going to ” ‘allo world this is me wine amyhouse’s cunny mile jonas has been here” and wot
11:55am: yeah i’m back f*ckin’ wanker tattooman said some right down right meanness to me about me ladt bits so’s i bit’im and now he’s got the erpes and now me bits only says “cunny mile” but tht’s ok ‘cuz
12:00pm: lunch time yay crack! gotta go loveys….whitney and me are gooing to munch