It’s a Black World After All

Way back when, back when Halle Berry was merely another light-skinned girl in Hollywood, before she thinned her nose, Grand Theft Auto-ed people in LA and hate-f*cked Billy Bob to earn an Oscar, she did the movie B*A*P*S.

It was a classic movie, and by “it was a classic movie” I mean it obviously inspired a young, bright-eyed Tyler Perry with the following thought: I can make a career out of ruining black people’s foothold in society. Very funny.

Anyway, the movie is about two black girls in L.A. who have dreams of opening up a hair salon-soul food restaurant shop but their attempts go awry becau–fuck this, I can’t even rehash the plot without wanting to stab bapssomething.

Anyway, between B*A*P*S and Madea Goes to the Plantation, I was convinced that the fumbling era of black cinema was essentially over. But, with acute timing that can only be described as “magical”, Disney has tossed their hat in the ring to Bring Black Back.

From the company that brought you:

  • Ariel–the legless nympho willing to sacrifice her voice and daddy for some booty
  • Pocahantas–the Indian chick that lets squirrels, beavers, raccoons and butterflies convince her that death by smallpox, enslavement and genocide are ok if done in the name of jungle fever
  • Jasmine–where she’s the real genie in the bottle; Slumdog Aladdin only had to rub her the right way

and

  • Mulan–where a girl trades in her “Michelle Yeoh” for a “Mao Ze Dong” in order to serve in the Chinese army. Along the way she falls in love with one of her fellow soldiers but ends up being impregnated by Eddie Murphy’s dragon or something like that. Ho Chi Minh I think this is where Madea comes from!

…now bring you the next entry into this Skittles-rama of princesses.

Introducing Maddy, Disney’s first African-American princess.

Maddy is not only the company’s first BAP (take that Halle), but her film, “The Frog Princess” represents Disney’s return to hand-drawn animation (bye-bye Pixar, welcome back animated sweatshop!) a move that makes Maddy Frog2-1all the more symbolic. She’s like the Rosa Parks of Disney, only she looks like costume design sketches for old episdoes of Moesha. (check her out at the right)

So what exotic, fun locale did Disney pick for this film’s setting?

….

….

New Orleans.

Yes, that’s right, New Orleans.

Cause if there’s any place that captures the fantastical pleasures of the Brown Experience, it’s the recent Lost City of New Orleans.

Disney has accurately described this movie as “an American fairy tale”, which is hard to refute: I can think of few places that someone black would wear something that outlandish besides N.O.

Well, maybe Atlanta.

And prom-season.

Anyway, the plot. Dick Cook, Disney’s Chief Simba, had this to say about the film: “The film’s New Orleans setting and strong princess character give the film lots of excitement and texture, much like the coarse, kinky, savage hair of Maddy”.

He also mentioned that the hand-drawn approach to the film allows the animators to give full-rendering to the “beautiful, cartoonish curves we’ve all come to know and love in women like Beyonce’, Oprah Winfrey and myfrog posterco-worker’s wife, Anita.”

Sounds like someone’s using this film to vicariously take a trip to the taboo Never-Never Land.

So they’re light on plot right now. But an educated guess based on looking at the promo poster for the film makes me think that when the plot is revealed, it’ll go roughly like this:

Walt Disney Animated Studios is proud to show you that we’re bout it-bout it. The studio’s newest animated feature, ‘The Frog Princess’, is a story about Maddy, a drown-and-out sistah in New Orleans. Maddy’s just emerged from her Ward looking for the One True Love she was separated from due to the Big Storm. Hers is a tale of love, journey that will test her heart, her strength and soul (food). With the help of a trickster swamp rat named Fema, and a wily and wise crow named Jim, Maddy will go far and wide to find Tyreese. But will he recognize his love after succumbing to the clutches of the water nympho Ariel? In theatres June 19th.”

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “It’s a Black World After All

  1. Joe

    Interesting to note, Halle Berry was nominated for Best Actress at the Acapulco Black Film Festival for her role as Nisi, but sadly lost to Vivica A. Fox for her work in Soul Food.

    I shit you not.

    • trejohns

      if only she banged the butler it’d have been hers.

      fortunately, she redeemed herself with ‘catwoman’.
      and by ‘redeemed herself’ i mean wtf?

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