We Only Got 6 Words to Save the World

Recently, NPR, the station that loves to make you feel as though you’re not doing enough in your life, did a segment on 6-word memoirs. The idea was to encapsulate some segment/moment/etc in your life in only 6 words.

Pretty neat idea huh?

Well, my closest celebrity friends and I decided to give this a try, too, and so, the results of our efforts.


The Kids Don’t Get It Presents: So You Think You Can Count? Celebrity 6-word Memoirs

  • Uh-oh; Conference Finals are in Denver–Kobe Bryant, future all-time NBA great, sometime adulterer
  • ‘Paris’ is now an STD. Hot.–Paris Hilton, well-known socialite, and first-ever namesake genital disease
  • Jessica Biel’s locked in my basement.–Justin Timberlake, SNL cast member, suspected coke-head, kobe-bryantsometimes makes music
  • Dear God, Angelina: please release me.–Brad Pitt, monkey-faced Hollywood star, side-architect for over-priced homes in impoverished sections of New Orleans
  • Better pizza. Better ingredients. Papa John’s.–Rosie O’Donnell, former loud-mouthed hack from The View, currently and quickly fading into obscurity
  • I have sex with Heidi Klum.–Seal, 90’s pop-artist, unmasked Phantom of the Ope05sealra
  • Please, let me feed your child.–Salma Hayek, Maxim 100’s Hottest Milk Bottle
  • Who wants pictures of Vanessa Hudgens?–Zach Efron, current teen star, next Freddie Prinze Jr.
  • onlee sex words is ‘ard, innit? yea it is you bet your knickers adn tits it ‘ard it is. i dont nkow how to tell me ole life sorty in only that bit you scags i thnnk I jsut peeed on meself i did oops–Amy Winehouse, drunk
  • Hey Ryan, we should really do lunch.–Carson Daly (to Ryan Seacrest), former MTV TRL personality, the Wilt Chamberlain of pre-teen to 18 yr old girls.carson
  • Oh Jenny, how sad: John Mayer.–Angelina Jolie
  • Help! Help! This bitch is crazy!–Nick Cannon, husband of Mariah Carey
  • Vote ‘change’–well, maybe not gays.– Barack Obama, popular merchandise personality
  • Not now; shooting new minstrel movie.–Tyler Perry, playwright, screenwriter, TV producer, suspected agent of the GOP
  • Maybe I should’ve shown two titties.–Janet Jackson, past-her-prime pop-star, suspected body double of Michael Jackson, current breast-feeder of Jermaine Dupri
  • One day I’ll find him Nicole.–OJ Simpson, former NFL great, lifetime World’s Worst Dad-slash -Husband


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3 responses to “We Only Got 6 Words to Save the World

  1. That is pretty cool!

  2. Claudia

    How can I be so funny? – Tre Johnson, brilliant humorist…

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