Absentee Note

OBAMA/

"Stop, Michele...stop...let ME hold it...dammit....!"

The other day, t-shirt magnate, Barack Obama, was in Wisconsin attending a townhall meeting. After calmly explaining several times that he was not there to introduce Brett Favre, he went on to president-ing. Anyway, while he was there, it was brought to his attention that there was a young girl in attendance who’d missed school to see Brett Favre’s return to the Packers.

Feeling bad for her, Barack Obama wrote her a note to show her teacher at school.

tom-myspace

"Please excuse Kennedy's absence. She's with me."

If it was me I’d write a note saying: “Dear Teacher, We’re transferring your job to New Orleans school district, effective 20mins after receiving this note. I am POTUS so I don’t even need to know your name. Pack your bags, you’re headed to the Big Easy. POTUS, out.”

–just to keep’em honest. Like Anderson Cooper.

bill_clinton

"Please excuse Kennedy's absence. She's with me."

Anyway, 10 yr-old Kennedy Corpus, who sounds like a porn star from the pages of Goose Bumps, got this note from Barack Obama instead: “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”

A fine note if you’re Barack Obama, but imagine if this note came from someone else.

“Who?”, you ask? A fine question. Let’s look.

The Kids Don’t Get It Presents: Kennedy Corpus’ List of People Girls Shouldn’t Get That Absent Note From:

  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–Bill Clinton
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–Chris Brown
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–American Apparel photographer

    kobe grin

    "Please excuse Kennedy's absence. She's with me."

  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–Gary Condit
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–“Tom”, from MySpace
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–OJ
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–Roman Polanski
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”-Kobe Bryant
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–Woody Allen
  • “Please excuse Kennedy’s absence. She’s with me.”–R. Kelly
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