The Dy-new-mic Duo

So, isn’t it totally crazy that Batman’s dead? Can you believe it? I mean I know you all read DC Comic’s Final Crisis last summer, and of course you read the “R.IP.” story arc in Batman’s own comic, too, right? Right?

Would the Man of Steel carry Dick like this?

Would the Man of Steel carry Dick like this?

Oh no?

Oh, well then I should share the following with you: Batman’s dead.

They killed him in the comics like, I don’t know, 6 months ago.

We’ll now observe a moment of silence in the name of Batman.

(pours a 40oz on the floor)

Ok, now the good part: Batman’s been replaced now by the original Robin.

Why is this so cool, you ask?

Because there’s a new Batman, yeah, but also because Bruce (Wayne) has been replaced by….

Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson growed-up years ago and gave up his old Robin costume to become Nightwing, a pony-tailed guy in tight leather who leapt from rooftops fighting crime.

He was somehow convinced this was less ridiculous than wearing green panties and a yellow cape.

But he always swore he’d never become Batman.

The new Batman and Robin. They're both Dicks.

The new Batman and Robin. They're both Dicks.

Meaning that Batman’s officially a Dick.

Which leads me to be excited about the exciting new story titles and lines we’ll see in the pages of Batman (until they decide to resurrect/return Batman in time for the next Batman/Dark Knight movie) like:

  • “The Adventures of the New Batman–now with Dick!”
  • “Because You Readers Asked For It-More Dick!”
  • (Alfred, Batman’s long-time butler and dapper gay lover, looking at the hanging Batman costume): “I don’t think Master Bruce ever imagined he’d get Dick in this costume.”
  • ( Wonder Woman,Princess of the all-women island of Amazon, upon seeing the new Batman, ): “Is that the old Robin? Dick Grayson?…..god I haven’t seen Dick in a long time….”

    Just like Bruce here, I hope Dick knows he's going to get it from every angle

    Just like Bruce here, I hope Dick knows he's going to get it from every angle

  • (Alfred again) “Master Dick, I assume you’ll be coming in the Batman costume?”

All that and Bat-Dick has now got Damien Wayne under his, er, belt, as the new Robin.

Who’s Damien Wayne?

He’s Batman’s illegitimate son. He thinks he should really be Batman, so he’s constantly competing for the spot, criticizing and demeaning Grayson the entire time. You know what this means? It means we’ll have a bunch of stories about Batman’s son riding Dick every chance he gets.

And man, I hope Batman’s not going to be mad finding Dick all over his mansion, his Batmobile, his butler.

Eh, probably not though; with all the Robin’s he’s had over the years, Batman’s always been big on Dick.

Either way, with Batman (temporarily) dead, they’ve got big shoes to fill.

Big shoes? Hm, I’m guessing Dick’s going to fill those quite nicely.



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2 responses to “The Dy-new-mic Duo

  1. I’m still waiting to get hooked by the new Batman and Robin. After two issues, I want to like it more than I actually do. So far, it’s much more lucid than Morrison’s usual writing style, which involves opening his copies of the Kabbalah and the Encyclopedia of Fetishes and stabbing his finger down on random entries, saying, “That’s it! Professor X was really a dybbuk with mechaphilia the whole time!”

    • The Kids

      Still waiting??? No way; I was hooked the moment I started with the 1st issue. I think Grant is at some of his best when he writes straight-forward stories and doesn’t try to over-reach with philosophical concepts, and write more inventive stories.

      His New X-Men run stands as the best run that book’s seen in YEARS. Total shite right now. And I love A-S Superman.

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