Man, September 2009 will be remembered as the Month of Interruption.
- While delivering his latest Greatest Speech EVER (this time the subject was Health Care), Barack Obama was interrupted by GOP asshat Joe Wilson yelled “You lie!” to the POTUS. Later on he was beaten outside by Al Sharpton’s hair.
- ‘racky Obama did his own interrupting a few days earlier when he delivered a speech on education, working hard and a reminder that Big Brotha Brother Is Watching.
- Shawne Merriman using the Heimlich Maneuver on Tila Tequila out of apparent concern that she was….uh choking….on….I dunno Smurfing know….Tequila?….
- Oprah Winfrey–Devourer of White Women and Bad Books–interrupted her usual out-of-touch condescending talk show format with a live performance by the Black Eyed Peas which apparently included inciting a riot of Wiggles fans. Once it was over, Winfrey, Fergie, Lame.i.am., the Latino Vampire and the Filipino Mute joined bodies and formed a Megazord and flew to–
–the VMAs, MTV’s desperate, yearly attempt to remain hip and relevant–a hard task for a channel that’s now best associated with The Hills and True Life: I’m a Bi-Sexual Hermaphodite (following Fergie and a kid in Ithaca, NY). Anyway, the VMAs, much like the MTV Movie Awards and Kourtney and Khloe Spread the Clap in Miami has now become a contrived parody of itself, so far removed from the realm of entertainment that it’s really little more than a lead-in to a Proactiv informercial.
Granted, I used to watch the VMAs back when I was in college and for a short while right after college, but about 5-6 years ago I stopped once I realized the following:
- everyone there is coked-out
- that no matter how much MTV wants me to believe so, Russell Brand, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, and Andy Samberg aren’t funny
- no Janet Jackson titty
- I am not an inmate
….so I haven’t tuned into one of their shows in awhile. Well, no, that’s not true: I did see when Britney Spears made her dramatic return to MTV, which was sorta like watching Whitney say to Bobby, “You’re Smurfed-up, I’m Smurfed-up, but you know what? I can’t quit you, baby. Spread your toes and let’s get high all over again.”
So that means that I didn’t watch it this year either, which apparently meant that I missed out on Interruption 09 incident #5: Kanye West Takes the Stage. For the 2 of you out there that don’t know, KW stormed the stage after Taylor “Negros Scare Me” Swift was awarded Music’s Latest Product To Promote Until Next Year.
Besides “West Side Story” and “Chicago–starring Jerry Springer!”, this might be the best staged production that I’ve ever seen. Granted, I think the crowd reactions were genuine–most notably Lady Gaga, who was apparently headed to audition for a spot in Where the Wild Things Are movie.
To be honest, I thought it was a pretty spectacular and hilarious moment. In typical Facebook fashion, the F’book community took to arms by launching a status-update assault criminalizing Kanye stealing Taylor’s “moment” at an awards show that in year’s past included such pop culture luminaries like RuPaul, Andrew Dice Clay, the Spice Girls and Limp Bizkit. Meanwhile, Philadelphia public libraries are closing all over the city.
Go GaGa over that, asshats.
I’m not sure that Kanye’s at much fault anyway. If you had to sit through the VMAs–including sitting through Jay “Oops I Crapped My True Religion Jeans” Z and Alicia Keys’ boring-ass “Empire” performance, had a girlfriend who decided to look like Grace Jones and dress like Cheetarah, downed enough Hennessey to tranq Beyonce’s Ass–all after an alien abduction left crop circles in your head–you might see Taylor Swift, the bright lights, the stage and OMG Rush The Stage!
I mean, wouldn’t you?