Category Archives: TWSS

“That’s What She Said”– A Week in Review #3

It’s been awhile, so it’s time to revisit and get a little TWSS in your life. By now you should know the drill, and if you’re new to The Kids… please read the previous installments for more TWSS fun.

Ok, ok, maybe an example just one more time.

So TWSS stands for my favorite go-to line nowadays, “That’s what she said”, which I feel, is the latest and greatest in the pantheon of one-liner jokes, right up there with “Your mom”, “F*ck you” and “McCain/Palin”.

“How does it work, The Kids…?” you may ask. Calm down–no really, stop, calm down. Here’s an example.

TWSS Example:

(Co-worker A): Man, you’ve been chewing that pen all morning, man. You stressed?

(Co-Worker B, pulls been out mouth, looks at it): Yeah, this morning has been rough. Crap; I chewed the cap off-is there ink in my mouth?

(Co-Worker A looks): Oh shit, yeah–whatever you do, don’t swallow any of it.

(Co-Worker B): That’s what she said! (swallows ink, throat bubbles and dies)

And there you have it. And now, the latest installment of moments that I, or others, have used the phrased “That’s what she said”. Enjoy!

housewife

"Uh-oh; a little bit of skeet should put out my fire!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(in the car talking to friends about gas prices): “Man, you’re paying $2.85 for it up here?! I think we get more from the pump at home.”

(watching the morning news by myself, and the news reporter says the following from a riverside/port location as a boat goes by in the background): “It’s a beautiful morning out here on the Delaware, with the sun shining and as you can see, I just caught a little tug on camera.” 

(sent in by a pal. This was the end of an exchange about beating Super Mario Bros. in a record amount of time): “It only takes 6 minutes if you do it right.”

(a friend after I address her by her real name instead of one of the nicknames that I usually call her): “Wow, you never say my name anymore.”

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“That What She Said”–A Week In Review #2

So, The Kids… is back with the latest installment of TWSS (“That’s what she said”). For those of you new to the blog, you can read the first TWSS installment here.

A quick re-cap though: “That’s what she said” is a timeless, and when used properly, flawless punchline.

It’s like the cockroach; when the world has been bombed to oblivion, someone will emerge from the rubble, look around the planet, shake their head, and say, “It’s just one big gaping hole now” and then another survivor will come out and say “…that’s what she said”.

In the meantime, I’m doing my part by using the line at every-single-opportunity I can get on a daily basis. I hope these entries inspire you to do your part, too.

Again, these are real conversations overheard or participated in over the last week (or so).

"Keep waxing the hood honey while I fix this meat"

(Football commentator responding to a QB getting sacked): “They used to be happy with the arm. Nowadays, they want to grab the arm, the ball and the sack.”

(music teacher, talking about students using new instruments): “Even after they’ve broken it, they still put their mouths on it and keep blowing.”

(Friend after completing a  2-day, 190-mile bike race): “We’d been riding it all day; I was so sore that I couldn’t imagine doing it again in the morning.”

(Same friend, same situation): “It was hard to start. It hurt the first 20 minutes, but after that it felt pretty good.”

(The “make-your-own-paper” guy at the Franklin Institute): “Yeah, you can have a piece too, but you’ll want to get it while it’s wet.”

See you next time!

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“That’s what she said”: A Week in Review #1

Lately–and by that I mean, for about a year–I’ve become a big fan of the punchline, “….that’s what she said”. I f*cking love that line. Love it.  I use this joke everyday. No really; ev-er-y-day.

Not familiar with this addicitive little ditty? Here’s a crash course via example:

In the following scenario, there’s person A and person B.

Person A: Hey B, how’s that assignment going this morning? Are you going to make the deadline?

Person B: Yeah; it’s long and hard, but I’ll get it out.

Person A:….that’s what she said.

And there you have it.

So, I’m sharing my favorite “that’s what she said” (here on abbreviated to “TWSS”) moments of the last 7 days. Enjoy.

(talking about a co-worker’s office): It’s hotter in there than you think.

(while eating fondue Saturday night): Just stick the sausage in there and swirl it around….

(leaving Montreal; the hotel doorman as he and I pack the car  trunk with our bags): “Make sure there’s room in there sir; we don’t want to just cram our stuff in here……” 

(yesterday, during our co-worker fantasy football draft, someone needs help finding a player on the list): “There he is at 69. Take him. He’s good to have at 69.”

"My husband loves eating in bed!"

Now that you’ve got it, send in your best TWSS moments!

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